1) There is no class this Friday. The lack of class is neither a joke nor related to the joking nature of April 1st, but if you'd like to make some jokes with me, I have a few ideas that I am going to need some help to pull off.

     a. Guerrilla Carollers. A group of individuals now forming with the intention of meeting regularly to practice and perform numbers in places where they have not been invited, including but not limited to CTA vehicles, swimming pool dressing areas, shopping center food courts, out of doors sporting locations and popular brunch eateries.

     b. Guerilla Carollers, Tiny Dogs Troupe. Tiny dog owners come together for the purpose of letting their dogs loose on formal events, to bring both jollity and an increased awareness of humankind's ultimate powerlessness over the wheel of chance. Works of performance art, weddings, religious events and legal proceedings can be brought to life with the sudden and unanticipated appearance of 100-200 small yapping canines.

     c. Guerilla Carollers, Solo Saxophonist Edition. Oh. Nevermind.

2) There is also no class Thursday, March 31st, in support of the General Strike in Wisconsin. What does that have to do with yoga, you ask? I don't know. Sometimes a thing seems like the right thing to do. If I worked for a yoga studio or a gym, I wouldn't be allowed to speak about such things, as it is "bad for business" they say, but you know, I'd like to point out that I do little more than run my mouth about drama and controversy and that my business is doing the opposite of suffering as a result. So surprise, everyone, I have political views.

3) I want to tell you about a thing happening in May. I know, too much notice. But I'm helping organize it, and we are looking for corporate sponsors and helpers, so if you're inspired to help, holler at me. Mindful Medicine Worldwide is a 501(c)(3) non-profit that builds integrative medicine clinics in developing areas of the world. Read: free hospitals in Nepal. They are great. In order to raise money for their work, they are having a kind of wellness party thing on May 20th. It costs $50 to come to it, but your admission comes with a free acupuncture or Thai massage treatment, and a bunch of organic food and wine. Come to it. It'll be full of hippies and those blonde ladies at the Whole Foods, so we need to represent, got to show the world that normal ass people give a crap about good practice. Normal ass people don't pay $50 to go to a party, I realize, but you're getting dinner and drinks and bodywork, so it's like buying a groupon for a good-for-you night out. Click here if you wanna. My dear buddy is one of the acupuncturists going to Nepal with them, so if you'd rather skip the party and support a real live medic doing the work instead, click here.

4) Did you guys hear about how I tore my hamstring on Friday? Man, it was something to behold. I was standing in bound half moon pose, which is, hm, let's see, it's like, from bound side angle you shift the weight over the front leg and lift the back one so you're in an L-shape position balancing while backwards-hugging yourself. Got that? I was standing on my left, feeling strong and open and adventurous so I went ahead and extended through the right all the way up to a kind of rotated bound standing split. I am told that this looked amazing, like a totem carved from a tree trunk, spiraling and tall and victorious. I felt a feeling right underneath my left sitting bone, where the hamstring connects to homebase. It was a tearing feeling, the sound of which, if amplified, would be best simulated by the rope on a ship at sea. A pirate ship. My eyebrows made an "oh fuck" shape and I came down. Since then, I have begun to resent spirals and pirates and victory in general. Doing anything hurts. Furthermore, the healing time on soft tissue tears is about a zillion years. I do want to say that I've done an outstanding job of maintaining a positive outlook on the matter, if you don't count the accidental crying I did at my client's house Sunday morning (number one the menses were after me, and number two she said, "How are you?" and I don't know about you but I certainly can't be counted on to hold up under that kind of interrogation). Point being, I am bummed. I have two small-time insights about this event:
 
     a. It is possible that this would be a good time for me to stop messing around and get serious about my writing.

     b. It's interesting that pain relievers are not advised because they increase the potential to do more damage. Take THAT metaphor to the bank, eh?

5) Don't forget not to come to class Friday, ok? Also, next Friday the 8th is the potluck, so bring food and drink and whatnot.