Eka Pada Mukhasana: The Advice Column: Levitation
Dear Eka Pada Mukhasana,
What pose do I use to levitate? Cause I think levitating would be pretty sweet. I saw David Blaine do it, so I think I should be able to also.It would be good to do at parties. I tried once, but then a funny episode of The Office came on so I got distracted. I'm about 6'3,190lbs.
-Russell
Dear Russell,
Thanks for you question. While it seems as though you have a clear understanding of your height/weight ratio, I believe you lack a firm grasp of the limitations of physics, to say nothing of appropriate modes of entertainment at social events.
As with any practice, we must begin where we are, and where we are if we are you is heavy (relative to things that float) and distracted. About the heavy, I wouldn't sweat it. You'd have to lose so much weight to float, maybe all of it, and we're talking achievable, so table that. As for the attention problem, I must say that The Office, a formerly funny TV program destined to bust with Pam's water this week, is no excuse. I'm not suggesting that you practice with the TV off, but Russell, even I can't imagine practicing on a Thursday night. 30 Rock? Grey's Anatomy? CSI? Be reasonable.
The next thing we are if we are you is misinformed, which is, lucky for the you that is us, 100% curable. Allow me: what levitation is and what David Blaine does are distinct wiki entries, if you get my meaning. In order to do what David Blaine does, you will need a pose for the tip toes, a mantra (optional), and a trick quarter (stunt fail back up).
Levitation, on the other hand, that cousin of miracles, magic, and the mail-in rebate, is something that only ever almost happens*. Its half-happening is so prevalent that we have given it a name and a history, because we do that, we just decide once in a while that formerly nonsense, irrelevant or non-existent stuff is legitimate. (Check out the new words in the OED.) But you know what? In my opinion, being common is no substitute for being real**. Like, these guys "levitating" while holding a walking stick? Not happening. That stick is connected to a platform they are sitting on. Tough balance, ok, applause for that, but give me a break, fakers.
That said, I can get kinda into these Buddhist guys who do a jumping practice thing. I mean, they are leaping, not hovering***, but that is just the view through the glasses of silly old time. Slow the time down, or take it away altogether via photograph, and you've got yourself a floater. I like to say, in yoga class, that if you stay in a balancing pose for one second, you have a one second success. No need to call it a failure because you collapsed and smashed your face. Time is a real perception-screwer-upper. Thankfully it has one loophole, and that is the right now moment, the only place where levitation - in fact the only place where anything - is possible.
With that in mind, the pose I recommend for us, if we are you, is the pose you are in, if by you I mean us, the each and every one. The only essential thing - and I'm talking the whole deal - is that you and we do it at a very specific moment: this one.
When your done doing that, skip the yoga show and pick up The Beamz for your next party.
Good Luck Russell!
Eka Pada Mukhasana
*I will also quickly point out that many poses make one feel as though one were levitating. Tip toes pose, the lotus lift/scales pose,and, more commonly, the savasana following one of those classes that give you The Bliss (also known as The Yoga Stoned Dipshit Space Out).
**Deep thoughts. You can quote me. But for the record, I am fairly certain that "real" is a made up word for nothing, and everything. (See also: God, Meaning, Purpose, Money, and Contemporary Art.)
***They are also not selling tickets to a hovering show.
Posted by Karen Faith at February 27, 2010 
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: The Office buddhism entertaining etiquette meditation chicago private yoga teacher magic tricks charletons levitation chicago yoga classes ORD new words chicago community yoga classes david blaine
Categories: uncategorized
Tags: The Office buddhism entertaining etiquette meditation chicago private yoga teacher magic tricks charletons levitation chicago yoga classes ORD new words chicago community yoga classes david blaine
In the present moment, I prefer levity to levitation. Thanks for reminding me of both.
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